"Nothing that God ever made is the same thing to more than one person." - Zora Hurston

My psychology class rolls along and this week we cover childhood development. The stages of development between the ages of two and 13 covered more than I ever thought possible! As early as 6 months old they understand the theory of object permanence and few years later, they are able to reason and think logically all on their own. The professor lectured on and described a term that I had never heard before: egocentrism. This is a common characteristic of those with autism and below the age of 7. While we were in this egocentric stage, it was difficult for us to imagine life from a different perspective. This explains why it was only too easy to steal candy from our siblings; we had no idea how this would make them feel. All we knew was that we came away with more than we had before. A responsive parent's question "How would that make you feel" would mean nothing to us because we lack the ability to see it from their point of view. After recent events with my suite, its become evident to me that egocentrism exists in our minds and hearts as long as we allow it to.

Putting it mildly, last week was not the best week our suite had seen. We had become aware that a new girl would be moving into the suite and while, some were indifferent to the newcomer, most would stop at nothing to keep her out. So many rumors have passed through our suite, its quite hard to keep track of who this mystery student really is. Mandy, is a student who is returning two semesters after beginning Cottey in fall 2008 as a freshman. After starting as a freshman, she had to take time off to cope with her father's suicide. She attempted to start school again last fall, but unfortunately her mother passed away due to cancer. Now, she comes to Cottey once more in efforts of living a somewhat normal college life. Our suite recently opened a larger single room and as the patron was moving her things out, our suitemates were hastily making plans to occupy the extra space. Upon hearing that Many would be moving in, they were outraged and did everything in their power to protest her move in. Since the deaths of her parents, Mandy has gotten involved in harmful drugs and alcohol abuse. She is surely not the worst we've seen on campus, but its as much of an excuse as our suite can get go keep her out.

Though they admit that her parents have died, they don't care to link Many's hard time with her recent loss. They appear to think that death is just one of those things that you get over without any speed bumps and within 48 hours all your grieving symptoms will be gone. I tried to convince my suitemates that they have absolutely no clue what Mandy is dealing with. Most likely she needs the big room to put all of her things considering she has nowhere to live now. They simply reply something along the lines of "Ok, I'm sorry her parents are dead but thats no excuse." I reminded them that they don't exactly have a clean track record in terms of substance use. Having nothing to say back to me, I knew that their interests were merely in the room rather than keeping our suite "clean." My dad always reminded me that I am never to take death lightly. A friend of ten years could easily change in the wink of an eye due to a death. There is no telling how harsh or long the effects will be on a loved one. Even if you are witnessing the same death, nobody grieves the same way.

Our new suitemate hasn't moved in yet, but when she does, I sincerely hope that our suite welcomes her so that she can attempt to enjoy life once again. The thing she needs now most is understanding. I hope that my suitemates can look past their hopes of changing rooms and turn their attention to someone else for once. Egocentrism is the basic inability to see life from another prospective. From my experiences this week, its clear that more often than not, we have the ability, but choose not to look.