An afternoon in the chemistry lab.

Chemistry Lab begins and I struggle to keep up with the teacher who's thick accent isn't making things any easier. "Ten milliliters? is that what she said?" My lab partner and I exchange confused glances as we measure what we hope to be the correct amount of water. The class moves on and I wonder why I didn't take chemistry in high school to make this easier. At the first sign of struggle, my mind races to find every possible bad outcome. Before I have written anything down, I've gone through three short meltdowns imagining what would happen if I failed this class. I try to shake myself out of it and focus on weighing little bits of tin on a scale that cannot make up its mind. I glance over at the wall and I see a piece of paper that reads: "Does studying annoy you?" Pictured are a group of college students in a library. Below, that image read the words "not them!" and pictured are small african american children doing math in a dirt path. This stops me in my tracks and I am mildly irritated at this stab at the work ethic of my classmates and myself. Yes. Studying does annoy me; I won't act like it doesn't. Coming back from a class, I don't rush to study for that big midterm; but I do because I have to. I would like to ask the teacher if small children in africa take the SAT's in the sand too. Or are they provided stone that they can bubble in the answers on. To be honest, I don't think my teacher has any idea of the stress our generation is under. Test after test after test, we are pressured to learn the information and spit it back out like clockwork. Semesters of general education for what? For the ability to recall straining ourselves to memorize facts long enough to bubble in the right answer. And everything we learned is flushed out as soon as we learn something new. Sometimes, I think that child in africa is luckier than I because he can learn what he chooses at his leisure, He has no time constraints and he can take a break to enjoy life without worries over standardized tests.

After seeing that poster, I really listened to the kind of language that my teachers used. "You MUST memorize this..." "Two hours of study for every hour in class at a minimum if you hope to pass. " "You have to." "Know this, why don't you know this?!" Personally I don't learn what to think, I learn how to think. I've taken in facts that I felt were interesting and formulated new thoughts. I think about how what I do in class can relate to my and other's lives. I don't remember anything my textbooks have told me. But I remember what I have told myself after reading them. My teachers sounded more like drill sergeants rather than educators. One teacher does nothing but read the book aloud in class. Really? I could cover more of my spanish book alone in my room than I could with her narrating it. I feel like a lab rat that chases cheese in a maze. When a man up top wants to increase "competence" he makes it harder by closing a pathway here or there. Is it really increasing competence by adding more material to cover in one semester? Or is it a way to keep everyone in check; neatly in a column. I've been a victim of the educational system for 14 years and I wonder how I might have turned out if I had no deadlines or tests. Up until kindergarten, I learned to walk, talk, eat and dress myself. I learned to share and smile for the camera. I could brush my teeth and comb my hair. Not once did my parents sit me down and tell me that I wasn't keeping up with the average toddler. I would practice riding a bike and then take a break to do other things. Things that interested me, I kept at. My own pace is acceptable and I believe has been drastically underestimated since the introduction of school.

Don't get me wrong, I believe that school is very important and opens minds that might have stayed closed otherwise. Teachers introduce students to numbers, letters, shapes, ideas, and images. All are necessary to the human mind. However in efforts to ensure that everyone will have the same skills and abilities, the government strives to keep every class in check by weekly to yearly check ups. What if one student falls behind? Oh no! We can't have that. Maybe that student failed that chemistry test because she was busy studying another subject that interested her even more? Doesn't matter. She is deficient in her chemistry abilities which leaves a red C on her chest. Before long, she'll forget everything she learned in chemistry because it did not grab her like another subject did. I wish school could focus on quality more than quantity. Teachers have no time to stop and review; they have to cover three more chapters in the next week and the fear of falling behind keeps everyone in this ridiculous horse race. I want to take the time to really understand something with the professor and then move on when I am ready. For the amount of money that an American education costs, I think we could do a lot better than we currently are. I think that many students, parents, government officials and teachers fail to realize that.